Darah and I have been having frequent conversations about her baby sister, and how it won’t be too long before she is out of my tummy and living with us. I have started to feel a bit worried about how Darah is going to feel when she realizes just how much time mommy has to spend with the new baby, and I’ve been trying to explain to her that little babies need a lot of help.
Disney Publishing has just released a new picture book that is really helping us talk more with Darah about the upcoming changes in our house. It is called, One Special Day (A Story for Big Brothers and Sisters) by Lola Schaeffer. In this sweet story, a little boy with lots of personality is celebrated throughout the book, as are all his wonderfully wild characteristics (page after page demonstrates all the ways he is similar to various animals by character…it’s really precious!). Then it talks about the day he gets a new sibling, and how it gives him a brand new personality trait; he becomes gentle!
The author of the book has weighed in on just how this book helps expecting parents with older children. She says, “Preparing older siblings for the birth of a new baby is always a bit tricky. As mothers we don’t want to spend too much time talking about the coming baby because we don’t want to send the wrong message that this will be a major disruption of everyone’s life at home. On the other hand, we want to ease our other children into the fact that the family dynamics will be changing. I’m hoping ONE SPECIAL DAY is a playful, yet comforting, book that will ignite questions from the older siblings. I believe those conversations that begin with the reading of a good book are wonderful opportunities to allay fears and build relationships that will help bridge any “new” event in a child’s life.”
I believe Lola is right. Darah frequently asks to read this particular book and she asks questions about her baby sister and even about herself and how she will act when baby sister arrives. We are so glad to have this book and I highly recommend it!
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Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy for review purposes. All thoughts and opinions expressed here are strictly my own.
Anastacia Grace says
We called the baby by name and talked a lot about how baby “…” is coming soon. My 2 year old was still pretty surprised when is baby brother did arrive, but he adjusted well.
Lisa L says
My son couldnt talk yet when I was pregnant with his sister so we got him a doll. I would hold it and kiss the doll and have him do the same.
Jessica Davis says
It depends on how old the child is. If they are young you could get them a baby doll and show them how to feed, change, bathe baby. If they are older get them involved by telling them how much help they will be to you.
Lana Bradstream says
Involve the older sibling with getting stuff ready! Not only will he/she feel like the best helper, but a bond will already start to form.
Beckee says
We have 5 kids and we always just kept the older kids involved in planning and ideas. They give us ideas about names and we ask talk about the ways in which they will be great big brothers and sisters.
Emily says
Tell them that the baby is “their baby”. They’re much more excited about the new arrival (and more willing to help and be gentle) when they feel like the baby belongs to them as well.
Gianna says
Involve the other kids in everything that is going on and they will share your excitement. My kids loved hearing baby’s heartbeat, watching them do an ultrasound, watching mama’s belly grow and baby kicking.
Ed Nemmers says
Have the sibling help with setting up the new bedroom!
renee says
I have no tips because I don’t know! Ask me after October 22nd 😉
I have bought a book called Mommy’s Having a Baby: A Special Book for Mommy’s First Child by Camille Liscinsky to share with my daughter in preparation for the new baby. Not sure if a book is going to banish the green eyed monster of jealousy but we’ll see!
jessie goodwin says
Sit down and talk to them and explain that things will be different but, you have enough love and time for everyone. Also, I found it helped my fellas to elaborate on what big boys they were and how they were such good helpers to me. 🙂
Libby says
I think it’s important to involve older children in the preparations for the new baby. Also, I think it’s wonderful to occasionally get out with the kids individually, so they all have a chance to have one on one time with Mom and/or Dad.
Diana Hatch says
Just try to include each child as much as possible in caring for the new baby
Corey Olomon says
Let the sibling feel like a full participate in things like picking out the name, decorating the nursery, etc.
Jessica B says
Let them talk to the baby before the birth!
tamar says
I need all the tips I can get. I’m 6 weeks away (but possibly not even that far away given that my first came 6 weeks early!)
The doctor recommended that I read him books, so that’s what I’m doing, but I only have one book and it’s not the one in the giveaway.
Nancy says
Talk with the older future sibling about what to expect after baby comes. Depending on the age of your first child, he or she may want to “practice” baby care skills using a doll: feeding, rocking, etc. That way you could care for your babies together.
Miranda Ward says
Let them ask questions and answer them as honestly as you can!
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Emillie says
Let them help with decorating and preparing for the baby! Makes them feel very included.
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Kelly says
I think timing is everything. Just talk to them.
Shannon F. says
In my family, we make a special shopping trip for the older sibling to buy a toy for the new baby. The toy my sister picked out for me when I was born ended up being my favorite toy while growing up! I also like the idea of “big brother” or “big sister” shirts. Let them know that this is something to get excited about and be proud of!
Shelley P says
Let them help prepare for the baby and explain that the new arrival will need attention but they can help you with that. Also that you still love them and will have special time with them as well.
susan varney says
Explain to your older child that the new baby will need lots of attention. Encourage your older child’s involvement by taking him or her shopping for baby supplies or looking through his or her own baby items for things the new baby might use
Yvonne says
Keep in mind the baby is also your child’s sibling, not just your new baby and your first child’s life is going to change just like yours is. Don’t try to pretend it will all be the same for your first child or when reality hits it can be really shocking to the original child who didn’t realize how much time this new bundle would take.
Victoria S says
Make sure that they know they are still loved and still paid attention to!
Ani G W says
I made sure to have a basket of toys/games/books with me for my older child while I had to nurse my younger child so we could all spend time together and it would not be excluding my oldest. We had hardly any jealous behaviour due to this, in my opinion.
Maria Kiguthi says
I made sure to include my older son in the doctor visits. He was very excited to see the ultrasound. But I was then in the hospital for the last 4 wks before my younger son was born and then he was in the hospital an additional 4 wks. So by the time baby came home. Big brother was more than ready to have him home,
Heidi Daily says
My daughter will be 2 next month and will be welcoming a baby brother in July so far we have been talkin about the baby and making small changes at a time in our home, reading books, and lettin her listen to the heart beat to start preparing her, I think she will do great and be a little mother.
Bee says
I have a 21 month old son and currently 22 weeks pregnant with baby brother (due the end of july) We’ve been talking a lot about babies and telling him as much as we can about how there is a baby in mommy’s tummy. Showing him with friend’s babies that there are kids smaller than he is and that he has to be so careful and nice and gentle. He has also gone for all of my major dr’s appointments, gotten to listen to baby’s heartbeat, and was able to see my sonograms as they took place. Once baby #2 gets here, though I plan on nursing, I am also going to pump some so that way my older son is able to help with feedings and keep him as involved as possible. Plus we’ve told him how the baby in mommy’s tummy is a boy just like him and when his brother gets older they can play football and do other things together. He gets really excited about this.
Kristi says
the only thing I’ve really heard is to make the older sibling feel important and included.
Sammi says
making sure that all the attention isn’t only on the new arrival – kids need to feel that they are still special too
Melissa A says
Talk about how they are getting a new baby soon so they are prepared
Jennifer Rogers says
Refer to the newest addition as “Your” brother or sister. The newest addition becomes “theirs” placing the importance on them rather the newest addition and helps to stem those jealous feelings when the newest addition gets a lot of necessary attention!
fancygrlnancy (Nancy partin) says
I have been talking to my son. I also want to take him to build a bear to make a teddy bear for baby. Plus at the shower and birth I will have a special big brother pack just for him.
Jennifer T. says
We kept showing our eldest pictures of her when she was born and as an infant. Telling her stories about when she was a baby helped her to understand what the new baby can and can’t do.
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rebecca says
I’ve been telling my daughter about a new baby and she likes the idea but when I hold a friends baby she hates it (she screams and cries). I think this book could help. I’ve been talking to her about what she can do to help with the baby.
Shannon Baas says
Let them help get ready for the baby.
Candie L says
We just talked to him during the entire process. Thank you
ColleenMarie82 says
When baby #2 came my daughter was 2 1/2 and she did retty well, we got her a new baby doll and tried to give her as much extra special attention as we could. I am now pregnant with baby #3 hoping the 2 older ones do good this time around as well
Kristie says
My daughter was only 15 months when my son was born, so she didn’t understand any of what happened. I’d like to read others tips, though! 🙂
Wendy O. says
Sorry, I don’t have any good tips. I’m just trying to talk to my almost 2 year old about babies, taking care of babies, etc. She’ll be nearly 2.5 when the baby is born, but I don’t think she fully understands what I’m trying to say right now. Perhaps this summer when I’m a lot bigger things will make a little more sense to her. I’m 16 weeks right now, so there isn’t tons of “proof” that I’m pregnant yet. I’m planning to check out books from the library this summer to read to her about siblings/babies/etc.