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Baby Budget: Designing a Nursery for Your Home

January 13, 2023 · by Tiffany Merritt · Leave a Comment

In honor of the birth of my new niece, Felicity, please enjoy today’s guest post on designing a nursery!

When you have a baby on the way, you may want to start making preparations as soon as possible. This may be even more important if you know you will need to be rather careful with your budget. Rather than spending as much as you have on your new baby, you may want to consider buying certain items second-hand, or accepting donations from friends or family. When it comes to decorating your baby’s nursery, you may also want to think about how to keep costs as low as possible. This can free up money to be spent on other necessities that may need to be bought brand-new, such as car seats.

Artwork
Having professional photos taken while you are pregnant can be nice, but it can also result in a high cost. Instead, it could be a good idea to create some modern photo prints for your baby’s room using photos that you or your loved ones have taken. Likewise, if you have printouts of any scans you have had, these could also be scanned onto your computer and then uploaded. The end result can be a number of beautiful canvas prints that can adorn not only your baby’s nursery, but also other rooms of the home as well. You may want to consider hanging them fairly high up as, while your baby may not be able to reach them immediately, you may not want them becoming a hazard in years to come.

Paint the walls
Painting the walls yourself can be significantly cheaper than hiring a decorator, especially if you have undertaken such a task before. You may want to consider colors that will allow
your baby to relax and sleep peacefully, without stimulating their mind. Should you not know the sex of your baby, you may want to stick to neutral tones, such as pale yellows and pastel greens. For those who have a talent for art, this could also allow you to create a mural feature wall within the room, featuring characters or designs that a child may love. Even if you don’t have a natural inclination for art, you could still adorn the walls with geometric shapes, or even the alphabet, to make the space look more creative.

Make your own decorations
There may be a number of decorations you would like to see within your baby’s nursery. While some may need to be bought, others could be created. You may be able to find step- by-step instructions on how to make your own mobile to hang above your baby’s crib, using materials that are either cheap or likely to already be found in your home. When doing so, it can be important to ensure that everything is properly secured, and that your baby won’t be able to reach or pull on these decorations.

Designing your baby’s nursery doesn’t need to involve a high budget. You may be able to create a space that exudes warmth and love while keeping those costs low.

Filed Under: DIY Projects ·

Top Tips for Moving to a Different State

September 17, 2022 · by Tiffany Merritt · Leave a Comment

Special thanks to Emily for today’s guest post. I’ve experienced moves across state lines and there’s a lot to keep in mind as you do it! 

 

Moving to a different state is an exciting new chapter in your life, but moving across the country can definitely be extremely stressful too. This is especially true if you’re moving somewhere completely unfamiliar or somewhere far away from your family. 

 

However, there are some ways you can prepare yourself for this huge transition in your life. Keep reading to discover the top tips on moving to a different state.

 

Research 

 

First of all, it’s crucial that you do your research before you make any firm decisions on moving. This may sound obvious, but you’d be surprised to know how many people impulsively move to a new state thinking that this will solve all their problems. Making these impulsive decisions could mean that you don’t think through some key factors and end up regretting the move. So, whether you’re looking for a house for sale in Sacramento, California, or Naples, Florida, make sure you do your research and really consider whether a new life in this state would be right for you and your family.

 

Find a home

 

Once you’ve decided that you want to move to a particular state, you’ll need to find the right neighborhood and, of course, your new home. To start this process, you’ll need an experienced real estate agent who’s extremely knowledgeable about the area you want to move to. Your real estate agent will be able to give you plenty of further advice and information about your chosen neighborhood and your expectations for a home in the area. Additionally, you should remember to consider the amenities and services near your potential home, such as stores, restaurants, and schools.

 

Find a moving company

 

After you’ve bought your dream home, the moving process can truly get started. To move across the country, you’ll need to find a reputable and reliable moving company that can safely transport your belongings. To find the right moving company, you should check as many online reviews as possible and also ask your friends and family for recommendations. If you know someone who’s moved recently, they should be able to give you some helpful advice.

 

Declutter

 

The cost of transporting your belongings will depend on the overall weight of everything that you’re moving, so you should definitely do a big declutter before you pack. To start decluttering, work your way through each room in your home and ask yourself if each item serves a purpose in your life. Remember that you can purchase more items once you move, so you don’t need to hold onto things ‘just in case’ they might be useful.

 

Pack early

 

Finally, make sure you start decluttering and packing as soon as possible. Moving to a different state is a massive undertaking, so you don’t want to be panicking and rushing around at the last minute. To reduce your stress levels as much as you can, start packing early – you can pack away non-essential items early on and then only leave out the essentials until you have to move. 

 

Overall, these tips will help you prepare properly and avoid stress (as much as possible) during your move, so make sure you don’t forget them!

 

Filed Under: General ·

Shine The Light On Your Home Energy With Solar Power

April 23, 2022 · by Tiffany Merritt · Leave a Comment

The sun gives the earth more than twenty times the energy it needs to run, whilst being a completely renewable source. In other words, it has more than enough energy for us to do everything we need to do – and never runs out!

Grand words maybe, but how can you use the sun’s rays to power your home? This article shines a light on everything you need to know about home solar panels, and where to find reputable solar companies to help you on your way.

The advantages of solar power for your home

From saving money to helping the environment, utilizing solar power holds numerous advantages for homeowners.

The money saving aspect comes in when you have paid off your solar panels and experience freedom from monthly energy bills – more on that later. 

Solar energy also has some practical advantages. For properties in remote locations, it can provide the perfect solution to being off the main electric grid. With your own electricity-generating system, rural homeowners can become completely independent with their energy production.

What are the downsides?

As a trusted solar panels company will advise, there are a few considerations before going ahead with solar. 

Not least, the start-up investment can be expensive. Irrespective of how many panels your home needs, the cost can run into several thousand dollars. You will see a return on investment in a few years, but nevertheless you will need to find a way to fund the initial equipment purchase. 

The lifespan of most solar panels is around 25 years. Towards the end of their life, the performance of panels starts to depreciate, so you should plan this into your financial models. 

Unsurprisingly, the sun is also a factor in evaluating solar energy. The best solar company near me can configure the system in the best way to maximize sunlight on your panels, but poor weather and cloud can impact the performance of even the best installed systems. You can work around this by installing batteries to capture energy for (literally) a rainy day, but bear in mind this incurs additional costs.

Space is also a factor. Roof space is vital for hosting your panels, whereas you will also need to be able to find space for the other components of the solar energy hardware such as batteries and converters.

What are the solutions?

One solution to the cost of batteries is to utilize the ‘net metering’ system. This means properties that are on the main electricity grid can remain connected. 

With this scheme, at times when your panels generate excess energy, you can opt to feed this back into the grid. In return, you are permitted to draw from it at no extra cost when you need it. 

You can also find some creative ways to take the sting out of the initial equipment purchase. Ask your solar energy partner about localized grants, loans or other financial products designed to incentivize solar installations. You will likely need to put in some of your own cash too, but this can minimize your initial outlay.

Filed Under: General ·

Getting Back Into A Normal Routine Post-COVID

January 21, 2021 · by Tiffany Merritt · Leave a Comment

Getting Back Into A Normal Routine Post-COVID

 

With schools and daycare centers closed, and many people working from home, COVID-19 has probably completely disrupted your normal day-to-day routine. Even though things aren’t quite back to normal just yet, it’s important to start trying to get back to a more regular routine.

Aim for a daily routine

Even if your kids aren’t back in school or their normal childcare arrangements, you can start to set up a daily routine so that things are happening at the same time each day. Get everyone up at a regular time, have breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the same time, and schedule in time for learning and play. 

 

Things might not be back to usual just yet, but setting up a stricter daily routine gives everyone a bit more structure to their day. It helps you to get back on track, ready for returning to school and work when it does happen. 

Incorporate regular playtime 

With schools closed your kids have probably been having lots of extra time to play, but even as you start to get back into a normal routine it’s important to still include regular playtime. It’s not just for your kids to have fun, playing helps kids to understand and learn a whole range of life lessons as well as key social skills. Plus play is a good time for kids to express themselves, and forget about all the upheaval and disruption that’s still happening. 

 

If your children are getting tired of the same old toys after months of being stuck at home, then monthly subscription boxes for kids such as the Sago mini box could be a perfect alternative. When you sign up, every month a new box will arrive filled with an exciting make-and-play activity. Each one is based around a different theme to keep your kids engaged and entertained for hours. 

Create a weekly schedule 

COVID-19 has thrown pretty much everything into uncertainty and plans are consistently being disrupted. But it’s important to try and get back into the habit of planning out each week at the start. 

 

This gives your kids a clear idea of what they’re going to be doing whether it’s going out, just doing certain activities at home, or even household chores. It gives them something to look forward to and a bit more stability throughout the week, which will help with getting back to a normal routine. 

 

If you’re struggling to keep up with various schedules then use the Cozi Family Organizer to stay on top of everything. You can add in appointments, events, school commitments, and virtual class schedules, as well as track chores and share a grocery list with everyone. By adding a bit more organization to your week it’ll be a lot easier to get back to a normal routine. 

Get an early night 

It’s easy for bedtimes to get disrupted when you’ve fallen out of your regular routine. But getting to bed at the same, earlier, time each evening and getting a good night’s sleep is essential. 

 

Over a couple of weeks start to move bedtime forwards a bit every few days and implement a bedtime routine that helps your kids to unwind. Try to avoid watching television or looking at any screens for an hour or so before bedtime. Instead, get them settled in bed and read a story together so that they can fall asleep more easily.

 

You could also try using a sleep and mindfulness app like Moshi that’s designed to help kids fall asleep. Choose from audio stories or relaxing music to help kids wind down and fall asleep as you bring bedtime forward. 

 

If your kids are at the age where they have a nap during the day, aim to fit it in at the same time every day when possible. This also allows you to have a set time in the day to catch up with work or other bits and pieces. 

Prioritize play dates 

Socializing during the height of the pandemic was very difficult, but another important part of getting your kids back into a normal routine post-COVID is going to be setting up regular playdates. Arrange one or two playdates each week and meet up with another family in a local park or play area, wherever you and your kids feel safe. 

 

Ensuring your kids socialize with others on a regular basis, even if it has to be at a safe distance, is essential to their development and will help to prepare them for returning to school. Getting outside will also get them active and help them to burn off some energy. 

 

By following these steps you should be able to get you and your kids back to a more normal routine post-COVID and provide them with a bit more stability and reassurance.

Filed Under: Parenting Tips ·

What’s Been Going On Lately

January 19, 2021 · by Tiffany Merritt · Leave a Comment

Hello beloved blog readers,

I’ve been so quiet on here for such a long time. The season of my life for the past few years has left me feeling much more quiet than I’ve been in previous versions of myself.

But just now, I found myself coming up for air, and feeling a desire to reach out and connect, so I’m taking the opportunity before I go back under the waves for however long.

We are in year 4 of homeschooling our children, who are now in 6th and 3rd grade. When the world fell apart last March, we were at a decided advantage for our school life to encounter very little disruptions, apart from extracurriculars. The more we do school the less value we seem to see in the traditional approach to education, and the more and more we start to dance with the idea of unschooling (a term I strongly dislike but will use for lack of a better substitute). We have figured out that we want to lead our children with guiding principles and values, and we want them to be wildly curious and willing to venture out into the world to tinker with things and simply figure stuff out. It’s a crazy departure from how our nation believes children should be taught, and it’s a far cry from the way either one of us grew up learning, but here we are, walking into this great unknown, and just praying that we are doing right by our kids. I think we are.

My husband began working from home in mid-March (he’s still working from home, and his Zoom meetings are a background noise I’ve become accustomed to). We’ve had tons and tons of quantity time together, but not nearly enough quality time. I think perhaps we aren’t the only family who feels so very close, and yet in some ways, still disconnected. Some days are better than others. It ebbs and flows, just like everything else.

Over the past few years, I have struggled to understand and gain control over my anxiety, and I’ve also made some great headway in that department, thanks to seeing a therapist and accepting help from anti-anxiety medication (something it took me many MANY years to be willing to try). And we’ve grappled with the emergence of auto-immune disorders (many of you will understand how vague and confusing these diagnoses can be).

And the state of our country has shaken us again and again, and put strains on many relationships we have with loved ones. I keep trying to show up and understand perspectives other than my own. And I keep being completely knocked over by how threatened facts seem to have become. It makes me want to crawl under the covers and hide. And I’ve done plenty of that in the last few years, for good or for ill.

Most of my time is spent being a reference librarian for the kids, and helping to connect them with whatever resources they need to learn about whatever it is they want to learn about. I do occasionally substitute teach middle school, which I find to be very enjoyable, and I have a growing love for thrifting and antiquing, sometimes for my own personal use, and sometimes to resell for a profit.

Since my interests have pulled away from showcasing the latest and greatest products for busy parents, and since I’ve been doing more listening and less talking over the last few years, I’ve pulled away from blogging. I think part of the reason why is because the push to have magazine worthy photography, coupled with intense search engine optimization in order to maximize pageviews just doesn’t speak to me right now. I crave more authentic connections, and I’m interested in things that don’t necessarily translate to splashy photos and lots of sales.

But I’m realizing that one of the great things about owning this little corner of the internet is that I can choose to do with it whatever I want. I don’t have to create pinnable images every time I have something on my heart that I’d like to share with you. I don’t have to try to rank on Google for a search term just because it’s something I want to share with you that day. And what a relief it is to let go of that pressure!

So I will try to come back on here from time to time, and just share with you things that are making my life better right now. And I would very much love to have you chime in whenever the inspiration strikes, because the connection is where the treasure is, not the pageviews.

I’d love so much to hear about how you are doing. What has the past year been like for you? Any new interests?

Filed Under: Featured, General ·

New Year’s Resolutions for Moms

December 22, 2020 · by Tiffany Merritt · Leave a Comment

2020 was a year to say the least. A year full of hardships and lessons that no one asked for. With 2020 coming to a close, it is time to start thinking about how we can better ourselves in 2021. I’m sharing a few of the best New Year’s resolutions for moms.

As mothers, we aren’t so great at self-care. What is eating three meals a day? We eat the leftovers off of our kid’s snack plates. What is nap time? There are littles who won’t sleep and there are loads of laundry to be done. We don’t even get to go to the bathroom alone. You can love motherhood and still recognize the strain it takes on women. It is a full-time job! We have to do better. How can we be patient, kind, and creative with our children when we aren’t taking good care of ourselves?

 

Self-care goes out the window

Why is it so hard for us to take good care of ourselves? For many of us, it is guilt that stands in the way. We feel like we should be devoting all of our time and attention to our kids. In turn, we make excuses instead of doing things that would greatly benefit our bodies. Nope, can’t come to the wine and design because my kids are cranky today.  I wish I could get a facial, but I can really just take a shower and call it a day. Sorry, can’t spend money on a gym membership because I should really save that money for something else. STOP THAT, MAMA!

 

Overriding the excuses

One of your new year’s resolutions needs to be to override those excuses. You can easily do that by fixing your mental talk. Start affirming yourself more often. Yes, I’ll be at that event! I would love to spend time with my friends. Yes, I deserve the spa day and a facial. I’m a hard working mama. Yes, I should join the gym because it benefits my health in so many ways. A little self-care can really go a long way. When you’re refreshed and happy, you’re a better mama. You need your brain and your body on the same page to make this new year’s resolution to come true. 

 

Taking the steps

You’re going to start saying yes to things for yourself, and you’re going to follow through. Let your family know the plan. Organize a babysitter if you need to. Find a gym in your area. If you’re in the Nashville area, I absolutely recommend checking out CrossFit Solid Orange. They are Nashville’s best reviewed CrossFit gym! You can read through the hundreds of positive reviews on their website to get a feel for the community that you will potentially be joining if it is a good fit. You don’t need to be a gym rat to start CrossFit, so it doesn’t matter if you haven’t worked out since before the first baby. Go as you are, and start working on your fitness. You’re doing this to better yourself. Not only will it improve your physical strength, but it is going to help you clear your head! You’ll be in there with people who are ready to support you. They’re ready to celebrate your accomplishments and challenge you to push yourself even further.

Don’t throw your selfcare out the window in the new year. Let’s start doing better for ourselves, so we can give our babies what they need. Lead by example, and show your children that you’re taking care of yourself too. Are you adding this to your list of New Year’s resolutions?

Filed Under: Uncategorized ·

What To Do If You Are Having Trouble Breastfeeding

December 9, 2020 · by Tiffany Merritt · Leave a Comment

This was a huge issue for me when I was starting out with breastfeeding, so I hope it helps some folks out! Feel free to share this with moms you know who are breastfeeding! 

What to Do if You Are Having Trouble Breastfeeding

If you are expecting your first child, you may have plans to breastfeed. Breastfeeding is the best way to give your baby the vitamins and nutrients they need to grow and develop, and it also helps protect them from infections if you exclusively breastfeed for the first six months. As well as this, breastfeeding is a great way to bond with your baby. However, many mums will probably have already told you that it isn’t always easy, and there are some problems you can encounter. If you find you are having trouble breastfeeding, here’s what you can do.

Pain When Breastfeeding

When your milk ‘comes in’ at around 2-4 days after giving birth, you may find that your nipples are tender and sore. Add to this the fact that a newborn will require feeding every two to three hours, and it’s not uncommon that breastfeeding can be quite painful in the beginning. However, there are a couple of things you can do to ensure this pain doesn’t last. First of all, you’ll want to check how your baby is latching on. The best way to describe proper latching is if your baby has most of the lower part of the areola in their mouth, the nipple against the roof of their mouth, and their tongue underneath. 

Second, make sure to consult with a breastfeeding specialist just to rule out any physical problems that may cause latching on to be an issue.

Not Producing Enough Milk

As mentioned, your milk may not come in for up to four days after giving birth. This is because the hormonal changes that trigger milk production do not happen instantly. So, if it has only been a few days, not producing enough milk is not usually a problem to be concerned about. However, if after this period you find that your baby is losing weight or not putting on enough weight, it could be that you are still not producing enough milk. In this instance, you may be advised by your breastfeeding consultant to start expressing to help build up your milk supply. 

Alternatively, you can consider using baby formula. You’ll want to ensure you choose a reputable brand such as Alula from Me and My Child. Their S-26 Gold baby formula is suitable for newborn babies and has been carefully formulated to give them the right proteins and nutrients to aid healthy development.

Leaking Breasts

Leaking breasts are a common problem in the first few weeks of breastfeeding, and it is a problem that can be easily managed. You may find that one breast leaks while your baby is feeding from another, when you are sleeping, or when your baby is due a feed but you are not quite in a position to be able to feed them there and then. If you are worried about wasting this milk, you can find milk collection shells that fit inside your bra, which are useful if leaking tends to happen during a feed. Make sure to store the milk in a sterile bottle and either use it straight away or store it for up to 24 hours in a refrigerator. Alternatively, you can use reusable or disposable nursing pads.

Remember not to put too much pressure on yourself when it comes to breastfeeding, and ask for help if you are struggling.

Filed Under: Parenting Tips ·

Giving Young Adults “Veto Power” Sets Them for Success as Adults 

November 12, 2020 · by Tiffany Merritt · Leave a Comment

Giving Young Adults “Veto Power” Sets Them for Success as Adults 

By Patty Alper, Author

 

Today, our young adults must learn the skills of survival in the 21st century. And those skills have changed and continue to change at a record pace. To thrive, students must learn the skills that are desirable to today’s corporate world or face the prospect of never gaining financial and social maturity.

Corporations have long known that their best employees are successful often because they have acquired skills beyond those needed to be an employee. In fact, the greatest managers and executives learn that skills to inspire and lead others do not naturally come from working as a subordinate. Rather, they come from testing out leadership skills in relationships with others. 

 

People who grew up in difficult circumstances and yet are successful have one thing in common . . . at a critical junction in their early adolescence they had a positive relationship with a caring adult.

[ATT]—President William Jefferson Clinton

 

I am a firm believer that success and perseverance should be taught in the home. I have seen too many cases where it is not. The tone parents set, and the boundaries outlined as adolescents become adults, can make a tremendous difference in the young adults’ abilities to navigate relationships and careers in the 21st century.

In Robert D. Putnam’s recent book, Our Kids: The American Dream in Crisis, he details how dramatically different it is to be a young adult today, and how several factors can lead to an inequity of opportunity for our youngest populations. He suggests that in contrast to when we were all adolescents, youth today cannot escape the risk factors that infiltrate their school, community, and home environments. We need to be doing something different.

We now live in a world where we have the fortune and misfortune of 24/7 Internet at our fingertips. With that powerful resource – one that our children must embrace to be successful in any future career – comes 24/7 threats and a tremendous likelihood of negative influences. Unlike the world in which we grew up, our children face cyberbullying, inescapable peer pressure via social media channels – of which more are added every day – and unprecedented access to misinformation and horrible examples of behavior. Without positive and significant adult role models, Putnam says this generation is far more likely to experience a lack of self-esteem, suffer from depression, experience suicidal thoughts, or have a feeling of disenfranchisement. 

Moreover, as a means to guard against the ever-present pain and disappointment, our youth now adopt an early a sense of mistrust. Many use it as their primary, and even proven method of survival. Putnam describes two Orange County teenage sisters, Sofia and Lola, who developed their own moral compass for this generation, their rule of thumb: “You can’t trust anyone, not even your best friends.” 

One can easily see how this scenario leads to societal danger—one lost, misdirected youth at a time—starting with a kid dropping out of school, followed by an enticement of criminal activity for easy money, or potentially a new allegiance to an extremist sect that supply youth with a sense of belonging. Meanwhile, many lack the time, inclination, or role models to even consider their future or aspirational goals, particularly when they are just trying to survive. 

Perhaps the greatest gift we can give our children today is positive adult influences. They need people in their lives that they can trust, and with whom they can share their feelings. Not only will this help them navigate these emotionally challenging times, it will also provide more opportunities for those adolescents to succeed as adults. But let’s be more specific. How can we be positive adult influences?  

 

Create a Safe Space

 

One of the most important suggestions I have for all mentoring relationships – and that certainly applies to parent/adolescent relationships – is to first create a safe space. Especially in today’s toxic and judgmental environment, our youth need to witness that ideas can be openly discussed without fear of harsh criticism or judgment. When a parent presents that environment at home – where there is empathy and active listening (not just the obligatory “uh huh” while we continue with what we are doing) – that parent offers something that will have a lasting impact: a judgment-free zone where creativity and idea-generation can flourish. Once your adolescent realizes that his ideas can be welcomed and even cherished, the bridles are off, and you have effectively “freed” his mind to explore what else he can dream and accomplish. I have witnessed the before and after for these transitions, and they are powerful. They are life-changing. In fact, as Chris Gardner, the author of The Pursuit of Happyness, once told me, when we mentor with this mindset, we are not only impacting this generation; we are impacting their kids as well.

One of my favorite writers, who has also helped me in my own life and as a mentor, is Dr. Carol Dweck, the renowned Stanford University psychologist. I had the wonderful opportunity to speak extensively with Dweck about mentoring and parenting mindsets. One of her core mantras is to praise challenges and progress, not innate qualities. In other words, we should be teaching young adults that there will always be hurdles; it’s how you overcome those hurdles that matters in life. We should be praising the ability to come out of difficulties. She also stated that, whether students are aware of it or not, they are terrible at estimating their own abilities. The immense power to believe in oneself can strongly affect a person’s desire to learn, her overarching achievement, and her life’s potential. That’s what we as parents and mentors must instill.

How can you start your child thinking about that mindset? I like to ask, “What was your challenge today, and how did you work through it?” Take yourself out of the equation. Let your young adult share how he identified a problem, and he overcame it. “What did you learn from that?” This could easily be an entire dinner conversation – and rightly so.

 

Encourage a Project, and Put Your Young Adult in Charge

 

In my book, Teach to Work: How a Mentor, a Mentee, and a Project Can Close the Skills Gap in America, I describe in detail what I call “Project Based Mentoring.” The model stems from Project Based Learning theories, but adds a skilled mentor to support the student and project. Through the project, these two different generations are given something to “do” together, and the project is both educational and transformative. The project is frequently based on tackling realistic problems with real-world application. 

Importantly, however, there are important guidelines for that relationship. It is the student who is the idea generator, the responsible party, and the driver of the activity and its execution. Together, the mentor and mentee/student share a mutual goal of planning the project framework within a timeline to achieve successful completion. Eventually, in the classroom, the students will give a public oral defense. The project and the relationship mimic workplace assignments and intergenerational (and often cross-cultural) work relationships.

I suggest this sort of project is just as developmental and experiential if it is embarked by parent/child teams, and you review the project’s success in an “oral defense” at the end. Has your daughter wanted to paint her room a different color? Has your son been wanting to plan a weekend trip or activity for the family? These could be excellent projects in which the parents teach responsibility and project planning, while also encouraging creativity and positive mindsets. 

Based on my 20 years of mentoring, I can tell you the relationship works. Young adults, often for often the first time, are developing skills that are relevant to an actual career. They are seeing first-hand that strategizing and hard work can yield results. The youth develop character and competence, and through both, they develop confidence. And naturally, bonds form that can have a profound impact on everyone involved (even the parent/mentor).

 

Give Them “Veto Power”

 

Importantly, the parent(s) need to remember that their role is to encourage critical thinking, but not direct the project. In fact, this is an opportunity to give up control – and see how your child can take on, enthusiastically, more responsibility with time. You should absolutely be asking questions and playing devil’s advocate in “what if” scenarios. But I would suggest giving the “veto power” to your child. In order for a child to take on more authority, you have to give up some of it. “No, mom, I really do want to paint the room black.” 

Cringe! I know! But keep in mind the ultimate goal: instilling long-term values and hopefully a few lessons learned and/or disappointments overcome along the way. You are preparing your child for the real world of decision-making.

 

Make it Fun

 

Finally, it is your job to make sure this project stays fun. If there is a hurdle or negative outcome, help your child collect evidence on what happened. Don’t let the conversation or thinking turn to, “I’m so stupid,” as students will often say. Keep the conversation and comments constructive and positive.

Likewise, make sure your child’s effort, and not innate abilities, are praised. “What did you learn today?” “What did you try hard at?” Dweck says it is actually counterproductive to compliment an innate talent, physical attribute, or skills. Give your student this mentality and you have given them one of the most valuable lessons in life: “You are in charge of your learning and your mindset. It’s a choice.”

 

PATTY ALPER, author of Teach to Work, is president of the Alper Portfolio Group, a marketing and consulting company, and is a board member of both the Network for Teaching Entrepreneurship (NFTE) and US2020, the White House initiative to build mentorship in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) careers. She has also been appointed to the corporate committee for Million Women Mentors. 

 

Filed Under: Parenting Tips ·

How to Sleep with Lower Back Pain

October 22, 2020 · by Tiffany Merritt · Leave a Comment

My family just got back from a camping trip, so this guest post is very timely for my aching back! I hope it helps you, too. 

How to Sleep with Lower Back Pain

Chronic lower back pain is a common ailment to many, and can lower the quality of life for those effected by it. There are many reasons for lower back pain, so let’s explore how to sleep with lower back pain, and what could make it worse or better.

Why does my lower back hurt?

There are many pieces of the spine and back that can cause your lower back to hurt. About 80% of people have low back pain at some point in their life. Your back is made up of spinal vertebrae, discs, ligaments, tendons and nerves.

Back pain can be either acute, which means it lasts on a number of days or weeks. Or it can be chronic, meaning it lasts for 3 months or more.

One of the most common causes of lower back pain are tendon or muscle strains, which is caused by twisting, heavily lifting, or moving the wrong way.

Degenerated discs are another very common cause of lower back pain, and this typically happens with age as your spinal discs dry out, and can cause pressure on your nerves. The degeneration happens naturally, but can be sped up by repetitive spinal motions over a long period of time, or impact trauma such a sports injury or car accident.

Sciatica is also another pain that can effect the back, and move down to your legs and possibly to your feet depending on the severity. This is caused by inflammation of the sciatic nerve, which is the longest nerve in your body running from your lower back to your feet.

Lower Back Pain after Sleeping

When you have lower back pain after sleeping, it’s likely that your sleeping posture is the cause. Sleeping in certain positions can put pressure on your spine and cause back strain with pressure on your joints. The important part of trying to remedy this is taking pressure off your back.

Best sleeping positions for back pain

An important impact on your daily life will be your sleeping position. Sleeping on your back does help with a healthy back, as it evenly distributes weight through the body’s surface. It helps alignment of the spine and body, and minimizes pressure points.

You can also sleep on your side with a pillow in between your knees. The emphasis here is the pillow in between your knees, because without that this sleeping position can pull the spine out of alignment and strain your lower back. A pillow will raise your upper leg, and restore the natural alignment of the hips and spine.

How to sleep on your back

If your favorite sleeping position is on your back, you’ll want to add some slight support here. Your pillow should be comfortably supporting the head and neck, without twisting the head sideways. A small pillow underneath your knees can provide extra support to maintain that natural curve of your spine. If you feel a gap between your back and the mattress, you can add a pillow under your lower back to help.

How to relieve lower back pain

There are several exercises to stretch your back in case of a back strain, such as the knee to chest, cat-cow yoga positions, and strengthening with a plank.

When it comes to disc degeneration or herniated discs you can explore other options depending on severity. Physical therapy such as stretching and strengthening help, but if the degeneration was progressed to a chronic level then an MRI may be necessary to see the exact cause of the pain.

Pain management for lower back pain is helpful while treating the underlying causes of the pain. You can talk to a doctor to see which treatment solutions are best for you.

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Welcome!


Grab your beverage of choice (mine is iced coffee) and let's hang out for a spell! I'm Tiffany, and I've rambunctious little girls and a fierce desire to share any tip and trick I can find to make lives with little ones a bit less hectic and a lot more fun. [Read more...]

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