Stuff Parents Need

Easing the chaos in the nest, one find at a time.

On Paying Admission to See a Newborn: What New Parents Need

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This post was originally published on November 19, 2009. I’m mindful of this topic since another friend of mine just had a baby yesterday (shout out, Jessie!). I’d love to hear your thoughts on what new parents need and whether or not you should “pay admission” to see a newborn!

My dear friend (who was previously on bed rest) had an absolutely beautiful baby girl last week. Tim and I were so excited to get to see her and her husband as new parents, and we were completely ecstatic about getting to see a brand new baby again. Even though we have a little one who is only 3 months old, she is already entirely different than she was just 90 days ago. She’s grown a few inches, doubled in weight, and her personality is really starting to shine now. We love her to pieces, but we already miss that teeny tiny little peanut we brought home from the hospital!

When we went to the hospital to visit, we knew we were in for a treat. We also remembered what it was like to be new parents (both exciting and also completely overwhelming) and what new parents need, so we brought a few things with us for the parents and the baby. In other words, we brought an admission fee! Later in the week I brought a dinner over to the family. I also got to see the little love muffin again! Now, I did not bring over dinner just so that I could see the baby. I brought dinner because I knew exactly how difficult it is to put together a meal when you are adjusting to a serious lack of sleep and a pretty much total loss of personal time (these things come back little by little, but the loss at the start can be quite shocking!). With that said, though, getting to see the baby was a really fun perk for me!
help: what new parents need
Newborns are so much fun to see and hold. It is no wonder that so many people want to come for a visit in the days and weeks immediately following a birth. But let me be clear about something: If you are going to visit new parents and their baby, pay an admission fee. You need to bring something with you. I’m not saying that you have to go buy a diaper cake, or bring over an 8 course meal from a restaurant. Rather, you need to either take the initiative to bring something practical (like a meal or some baby wipes, for example), or you need to ask what you can pick up from the store for them on your way over. Should they politely protest, know this: they are simply being polite. You need to be even MORE polite and bring something useful, anyway (even a gallon of milk and a few fruits and veggies would be nice!). It is so difficult to think as far ahead as even the next meal when you are a brand new parent, and anticipating the needs of your friends and family in this situation is such a great help. It is what new parents need! What isn’t helpful is coming over to see the baby, taking up their precious (yes, precious) free time with your visit, and leaving without helping them out in some small way.

What do you think about this issue?

Creative (and SIMPLE!) Ways to Bring Food to a Friend: Guest Post from Vanderbilt Wife

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I live in the Land of My Late 20s (let’s not speak about how that number 30 is looming mere weeks away). In this Land, the population is being increased every day by friends giving birth. Of course, there are many members of all ages in this Land, but I think your late 20s and early 30s is probably the peak of life here.

I have two little ones myself (3 and 1) and have been beyond blessed with the visits of my friends during those newborn times. Because almost always, the friends come bearing food.

There is nothing worse than thinking about making dinner when you are juggling a toddler and a newborn, breastfeeding and groggy from lack of sleep. If it’s your first baby, you’re probably in the “why did they let me bring this thing home by myself” daze. With your second and beyond, cooking becomes more difficult with a child wrapped around your leg screaming “MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY I HUNGRY!!!!!” (Or maybe that’s just mine who doesn’t seem to equate me cooking dinner with her being less hungry in half an hour.)

Thankfully, those meals from friends seem to make the first few weeks with a newborn more tolerable. I try to mix it up a little when I take food to a friend, because no matter how appreciative you are of the meal, sometimes another dish of baked pasta gets old. 

So think outside the box! Here are some ideas.

Bring breakfast. Everyone loves breakfast for dinner, and it’s probably something the new parents haven’t been brought yet. I think Berry Baked French Toast is perfect for this time of year and makes a fun dinner. You can throw in some cooked bacon, too, for an easy protein, if you want.

Classic Meat and Two or Three. Think of what you often cook for dinner at home: a protein, a carb, and a veggie? (At least that’s my default.) This kind of meal is comforting and “normal,” but most people bring casseroles when they feed a friend. Recently I made Chicken and Cherries and cooked rice with peas for a friend with a new baby. Maybe a little boring, but my friend said her husband went crazy over the plain old brown rice.

Think seasonally. Hamburgers aren’t too difficult but are something most everyone loves, including kids, as the weather warms. How about a gift of some doctored-up Tomato Basil Hamburgers, Broccoli Salad , and a bag of gourmet chips?

A few more tips:

Remember everything. If you bring burgers, bring buns, too! If you’re really nice, throw in paper napkins and plates and disposable silverware so the new mom won’t have to do dishes, either.

Now or Later? I always ask if the mom wants to eat it now or if she wants a frozen meal she can cook later. Sometimes people bring enough food for 3 or 4 meals, and it would be more helpful to have an extra meal for a later time.

Bring an extra meal for later. A simple crockpot meal assembled in a big ziplock bag will be super easy for her later. She can just toss it in her crockpot and not have to cook that night. This comes in super handy when baby is going through a growth spurt and nursing 24/7, a day with a busy schedule, or just a night she doesn’t have the energy to really cook. Try Honey Parmesan Pork Roast, Summer Vegetable Chowder , or Vietnamese Chicken Thighs.

And you know … if you bring pasta or poppyseed chicken, I bet it will still be VERY appreciated.

What’s your go-to meal for a new mom?

Jessie is a stay-at-home mom of two and freelance writer in Chattanooga, Tennessee. She writes about faith, recipes, and her failures as a mother and housekeeper at VanderbiltWife.com.