When I was 4 months old, my mother was interested in infant ear piercing and took me to have my ears pierced. Well, actually, my father took me, because my mom couldn’t handle witnessing the whole ordeal, even though it was her desire to have my ears pierced in the first place.
Reasons I’m Glad I Had Infant Ear Piercing
Even though I always found it ironic that my mom refused to be present when my ears were pierced, I have always been very glad that she had them done when I was a baby, and here are my reasons why. I never had to take care of newly pierced ears myself, which was nice. I remember so many friends throughout my childhood and adolescence who got their ears pierced and who then didn’t properly care for them, which caused infections, holes closing back up, or scar tissue forming. I can’t say with any certainty that I would have done any better of a job caring for my ears if I had gotten them pierced at 8, 10 or 12, myself. But I can say with certainty that I would have reached a point in life where I would have wanted to get my ears pierced. And I am so glad that I never had to go through the mental anguish of psyching myself out about the horrible pain that the piercing gun would surely cause. And I would have most definitely spent a lot of time thinking about it and getting freaked out. I may have even been one of those girls who only got one ear pierced before running out the door in fear. Yikes.
Choosing Infant Ear Piercing for My Baby
In the past few months, I have spent quite a bit of time thinking about whether or not I wanted to get Darah’s ears pierced. Mostly I thought about about that scary piercing gun (told you I would!). Could I really do this to my baby??? I started doing research online, and I learned a few things. First and foremost, the IDEA of ear piercing is much more painful than the actual process. The pain is pretty much on par with getting a shot, because the ear lobe is mostly just cartilage. The second thing I learned is that, as with all things related to parenting, there is a heated debate about this topic. In the most extreme cases, I read posts on chat boards where mothers were calling those who got had their babies’ ears pierced child abusers. Woah!
So what did I do? At Darah’s 6 month checkup on Monday, I had her pediatrician pierce her ears. I was in the room (Tim was holding her. I did one better than my mom, but I did chicken out a little bit). She cried for a grand total of 12 seconds. I made the very best decision I knew to make for Darah. I decided that in our culture, ear piercing is so common that the odds are very good that she’d want it done at some point, and this way I can spare her the tiny amount of physical pain later on, as well as the large amount of mental torture that comes with getting freaked out about it. I do understand the position that some parents take that you are making a permanent change to your child’s body without her permission. This is an excellent point, and it did give me a great deal of pause. I ultimately decided that if, in the future, Darah expresses frustration that I had her ears pierced, I will be ready and willing to give her my reasoning for choosing infant ear piercing, but humbly apologize if my decision upsets her.
I think that there are really compelling reasons to pierce your daughter’s ears, and really compelling reasons to wait. If you have thought over this decision yourself, I’d love to hear what you decided to do. But please refrain from calling anyone a child abuser!
I am so glad to read this….. I took my baby girl tonight and got her ears pierced at her 10 months old. I decided against it early on due to I wanted it to be a decision she made herself. Well I then was afraid that it would be a decision at an age that would be harder to keep clean. Reading this alone made me feel better, even after the decision is made. Now I have a clearer mind about it and can possibly explain my decision to her that I made for her body when she is older if she has questions.
I’m so glad it was helpful to you! As with many things related to raising kids, this is a topic that can result in some very strong opinions from folks and lead to confusion on the part of the parent!
I never pictured myself piercing my baby’s ears. I grew up with a “white bread” WASP mother who didn’t pierce her ears until she was well into her 30s, having been told by my grandmother that only gypsies had pierced ears.
Like you, I was uncertain, but my husband (mine was from Spain) reassured me earlier was better. There they pierce the ears of female infants in the hospital as a matter of course, much the way the circumcision of male infants is handled in the United States. It is traditional for a baby girl’s godparents and relatives to give her earrings as a symbol of how loved and adored she is. And there, a baby can be dressed up in pink butterflies, but if she’s earring-less, people will still call her a beautiful baby boy.
But what I soon came to realize cultural camaraderie is important and mutual respect a sign of love. Our dd barely whimpered having them pierced early at four weeks. In addition, after having our dd’s ears pierced, I realized that piercing a baby’s ears is not at all wrong or uncommon; however, criticizing and openly casting doubt on another’s cultural norms is wrong and unfortunately not that uncommon.
Our daughter with little pearl earrings has drawn so many favorable comments from dh’s friends and family. Many of my GF’s, some who were uncertain about my decision to pierce my baby girl’s ears as a newborn have expressed their opinion how cute and adorable she looks with little pierced ears. A few have followed my lead
and had their dd’s ears pierced too 🙂 I’m very happy with my decision and hope others will realize that family, tradition and diversity are between two blinged-out earlobes of our daughter.
For those still unsure about our decision, I hope they can keep an open mind. Any moms on the fence whether or not to have their dd’s ears pierced, drop me an e-mail.
Angie@hotmail.com
Great points, Angie! Thanks so much for sharing!
i totally agree! i got my daughters ears pierced at 4 months. she is 2 1/2 and loves that she has earrings like mommy. except hers are smaller. with the new baby i plan to pierce hers as an infant too. of course at the pediatricians office.
I haven't thought about the topic in-depth because we have never actually considered it for our girls. I always just assumed we'd let it be their choice when they get old enough.
I actually still don't have my ears pierced…not due to fear…it's just a matter of preference.
Thanks so much for sharing this insightful post! I'm sure it will cause many of your readers to weigh the pros and cons more throughly. It sounds like you certainly did your research and came to your decision after much careful thought and consideration.
stephanie@metropolitanmama.net
What an interesting point of view. I don't have kids but I always thought it should be the kid's choice whether or not they want their ears pierced. But I agree with what you wrote…so now I don't know lol
But child abuse? Ummm no
Wow. Thank you for posting this. Such a great topic. I have a 2 1/2 month old and I am debating…….Do it or not, Do it or not????Ugh! My concerns are will she pull at them, will she be okay with the change I made to her body when she gets older!? I'm torn!!! But, after reading this I hope to come to a decision soon!
My husband and I both want our daughter to have pierced ears and believe that she will one day ask to get them pierced. We are going to let her ask and make the decision. Ultimately, it came down to three things for my husband and me: we didn't want to put our daughter through unnecessary pain, we didn't want to risk infection or other possible complications from ear piercing, and we didn't want to risk her getting an earring or earring back in her mouth and choking (she's almost four now, so there's little risk of that now!) The cons just outweighed the pros for us, but I don't usually look aghast at people who have their kids' ears pierced. Different strokes for different folks!
This has been something that I have always thought about myself. Having a boy now I don't have to deal with it but if I ever do have a girl I don't think that I could make myself do it. I have thought about not just pain of the initial piercing but just how uncomfortable it may be for her to sleep with earrings in her ears. I know for me it is uncomfortable.