Astroglide TTC™ sponsored this blog post. The opinions and text are all mine.
I remember all too well when Tim and I first decided that we were ready to expand our family and turn 2 into 3. It was an exciting season that all too rapidly became stressful, at least for me. I hope that some advice I can offer on this side of the journey can help those of you out there who are thinking about trying to conceive or already on that path, and maybe even getting a little stressed out!
1. Statistically-Speaking, This Will Take a While
I spent so many years of my adult, married life actively trying to prevent pregnancy. So I assumed that taking contraception off the table was like moving the critical Jenga piece…the tower would fall, or in this case, I would just no longer NOT be pregnant, right?I mean, maybe. For some that does happen. But for healthy couples with no obvious obstacles in their way (such as advanced maternal age, PCOS, low sperm count, etc.), it is perfectly normal for it to take 6 months or longer to get pregnant. I was totally clueless about that fact, and I wish I had realized and accepted it sooner and not spent those months being very frustrated.
2. Sex Will ChangeThere is a very distinct difference between sex for fun and intimacy and sex with the goal of creating a baby. It’s just not as, well, SEXY. With that said, one of the things I wish I had known about that would have made the process feel better (yup, I mean that literally) is a sperm-friendly lubrication. I remember learning about the fact that many lubricants can interfere with sperm doing their jobs, and so it got the boot. Astroglide Trying to Conceive TTC is a fantastic option to consider, as it has been specially formulate to provide an environment where sperm has a good chance of survival. pH levels are adjusted and the consistency is meant to mimic what your body would create during ovulation. Since this is probably going to take a while, I suggest that you do yourself a favor and get a product that will keep you comfortable without causing you to worry that you are diminishing your odds for success.
Are you charting your body temperature to determine when you are ovulating? That’s a common practice, and it’s a smart one, too. But let me tell you from personal experience that there’s something to be said for practicing some old habits and being spontaneous with your rendezvous, rather than simply focusing on doing what the chart says. I charted like it was MY JOB when we were trying for our first child, and distinctly remember leaving town for a few days for a business conference, at least 4 days past when all of my charts said it was even possible for me to conceive. My first thought was, “There’s absolutely no point in having sex right now.” But I was going to miss my husband, and so…you know…
Such great reminders, Tiffany. I know that when we were trying for baby #2, the right mindset would have made the process a lot different. Being stressed out definitely does not help matters of this kind! 😉
It’s a really tough thing to navigate as you try to NOT STRESS OUT but of course even trying to do that is stressful in and of itself, and if you are doing all that charting stuff, that is also quite stressful! As well as that 2 week wait business!
Oh my gosh, SAME STORY with the thinking once we “tried” we’d just suddenly make a baby, NBD. In reality, it took about a year. Now, a year is still not THAT long, but, when you go in thinking it’s going to be instantaneous? It felt FOREVER! Good advice here, Tiffany!
It does feel like forever! I went into it with a desired birth month in mind (?!?!?!?!) and of course, I realized, no no no, it does NOT work out like that for most couples. You don’t get to just magically be pregnant!
This reminds me of a funny story. Well I think it’s funny anyway. When we went away for our 10th anniversary, we came back pregnant – without trying! We had definitely tried using some of the methods you describe when we had our first two. Our third is a total gift and just what our family needed – but I do NOT enjoy pregnancy, so after his birth I had my tubes tied. We just went away for our 15th anniversary and I told my husband “I’m so psyched I’m not gonna come back pregnant!” LOL! It’s all for fun now. 🙂
Ha! I’m with you…pregnancy is most definitely not a surreal, amazing experience for me, personally. I spent the first 16 weeks of my last pregnancy throwing up between 2-5 times EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. While it is true that most of your memories fade away about the pain of pregnancy and of labor, I remember it all enough to know that I’m done, thankyouverymuch! 🙂