My little love will be going to daycare for the first time tomorrow. I am feeling completely overwhelmed with emotions right now, and so I’m reaching out to other moms and dads out there who read this blog and who have already been through this experience.
I feel very fortunate to have a day care literally a 5 minute walk from my office (a walk I intend to make every day during lunch!). I feel grateful that the staff in the infant room seem to genuinely care about the children they watch. I feel lucky to have a job, especially one that I truly love and that still helps us work toward our financial goals even with daycare in the picture.
But…
I also feel a lump in my throat and an aching in my heart. Nobody, not even the world’s greatest daycare providers, is ME. while I don’t have the most knowledge about infant development or proper childcare, I know for certain that nobody can give my daughter as much love as I have in my heart for her (a love that continues to blow my mind with its ability to grow and grow).
I have these horrible visions of my child sitting in a bouncer, crying out for attention and love. I know that the staff there will do their best, but the ratio of providers to children is 1:3, and its easy to do the math here and realize that not every child can be cuddled and cared for every moment. My heart absolutely breaks at the thought of my child feeling lonely.
I’m also afraid that I won’t send enough milk with her for the day, and that she’ll be hungry and I won’t be there to provide for her. I’m afraid that she’ll be overwhelmed with the intense stimulation that comes from being exposed to a room full of babies and noise.
I’m afraid of so very many things that I ultimately cannot control. A dear friend told me once that this is a large part of what parenting is all about…making peace with what you cannot control, and letting go. But I have no idea how to do this.
Any advice for someone in my shoes, who has to take this next step with her baby, which results in both of us growing up just a little bit more?
I have good news and bad news.
The bad news: It is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done (so far). The first week was the absolute WORST and I cried every day. My baby was "mad" at me for leaving him all day and wouldn't look at me when I got home. I was awful. Truly awful for a new mom.
The good news: It only lasted a week. Once we both got into a routine and adjusted to the way life was going to be, it was fine. He was happy to see me again when I got home. I had to realize my baby was a little person too and had to cope with situations in his own way. Your little sweetie will do just fine. In fact, getting social interaction and lots of stimulation will only encourage her development.
It will be hardest on you. Just keep reminding yourself that you are doing the best thing for your family by going to work and providing. Just KNOW that it gets better!!! The first week is going to be so, so hard. But then it will be fine. So hang in there. 🙂
ah, this is the dreaded next step in our lives. I have the same emotions as you, esp since we have no idea where he is going yet, lol but i can tell you that from working in a daycare in college that the babies are well loved and given a lot of attention. I hope it goes well for you!
My only advice is that you have to have peace of mind over this decision or it will drive you crazy. Enjoy all of the good that is going to come from it, and dismiss the fear of the unknown. Hugs to you, I remember the feeling well!
no advice here, just lots of love directed your way. oh wait, maybe one little tidbit. my mom once told me (and maybe this applies?) that parenting is one act of letting go after the next. if you do it right, your children will never even know you are doing it. hang in there!
awww . . . don't worry. It will be fine – for both of you.
Some of my son's best friends are kids they met at daycare. They had fun, learned new things, and experienced more of the world.
And when we were back together again at the end of the day their faces would light up telling me all about their wonderful day.
The first day is the worst but it gets better.