overcoming fears - Stuff Parents Need

(Originally posted on December 21, 2009)

So here’s the deal. I’m 29 years old. I have a master’s degree, a family, a career, a mortgage and a whole host of other things that adults acquire over the years. So it may surprise you to hear that for the past 5 1/2 years I have been without a driver’s license. There’s no scandalous reason for this (DUI, etc.). The truth of the matter is this: I never really liked driving. In 2003 I lived in the Boston area, and I did not drive there. My license expired that year, and I just never got around to renewing it. I didn’t want to pay the fees to switch it over to MA (I was a poor grad student at the time).

And then we moved back to Tennessee. I still didn’t have my license, but I promised to get it, “some day.” My husband was beyond patient with me. Every time he would politely bring it up, I was FULL of excuses. I didn’t have the time, and I didn’t feel like studying for the test (oh yeah, by the way, if your license expires, you have to take the written AND the driving test all over again). As time passed, I got more and more afraid of driving and of the silly tests. I also became more and more embarrassed and ashamed of myself for not having a license. What a dumb thing to let get the best of me.

In 2008 I got my permit again. I studied for that darn test and I did well on it. I was motivated by the fact that I knew we wanted to start a family. But wouldn’t you know it…I still avoided that driving test like the plague.

Finally, a few weeks ago, I got completely fed up with myself. I went online and signed up for a test. I had very little time to practice driving, and I just decided to be ok with that. I realized that even if I failed the test, I would at least have a good idea of what they would be looking for on the test, so that I would do better the next time.

One week ago today, we all went over to the DMV and I took my Tennessee Drivers License test.

And let me tell you what I had to do.

I had to drive around the block. Four right turns. THAT IS IT. I spend 5 1/2 years terrified of four right turns. Wow. It may go without saying, but I passed and I’m now a licensed driver.

I’m sharing my story because I’m betting that each and every one of you has something in your life that you are putting off, and that you have been putting off for WAY too long. While I can’t promise you that tackling your issue will be as easy as my driving test, who knows? It just might be. And if you have been fearing this thing for a long time, the odds are very good that it won’t be as bad as what you are imagining.

So get out there and take your four right turns. It feels so unbelievably good to get it done. BEEP! BEEP!

Please tell me what you are currently putting off taking care of in your life. It will feel good to get it out in the open!

photo credit: 1968 Dodge Charger R/T | Scott Crawford via photopin cc

As Darah has developed her own likes (ice cream, fire trucks) and dislikes (spinach, flies), she has also developed her own fears. I do not always understand them, but that doesn’t make her fear any less real.

Here are the things that I know scare my two year old:

Smoke Alarms
Balloons

We are seeing a bit of an improvement in her fear of balloons (slowly but surely), but the smoke alarm issue is one we deal with every single day. We find ourselves having conversations about how the sound is scary, and why a smoke alarm goes off, and how there’s no smoke in the house and isn’t that wonderful?, and how smoke alarms want to protect us. Some days she seems to make peace with them and move on with life, and other days, she seems almost completely fixated on them.

If you child battles with a fear of something that causes him/her anxiety, you may want to consider getting some Bravery in a Bottle. These products have been developed by a very savvy stay-at-home mom named Nancy to help children cope with four very common fears: monsters, storms, needing courage (for things like doctor’s appointments) and homesickness.

From Nancy, “Children tend to feel small and often powerless. The world can seem big, frightening, and confusing. Vivid imaginations contribute to their fears. The symbol for the things children find scary and feel might harm them, manifests itself in the form of “monsters.”

The best way to solve childhood fears is to give children the feeling of control and power over what is frightening to them. An excellent way to overcome these fears is to tell the child a story about a protective monster that watches over them. In addition, a picture of a friendly monster – like our awesome logo Winston – is superb in helping them frighten away the “bad” monsters.

Aromatherapy sprays with essential oils create an actual soothing effect. Give them “bravery in a bottle”. Empowering children is key to overcoming their fears.”

We received the organic Winston plush. I will NEVER forget the day he came in the mail, because Darah’s reaction to him was absolutely priceless. When I opened the box for her and let her look inside, she said, “Oooh! An owl! (Winston has large eyes, so I’m guessing that’s why she thought he was an owl). I explained that he was actually a very helpful monster, to which she replied, “He’s my best friend!” Then she gave him a big hug, and hopped (literally…like a rabbit) from the dining room where we opened the package to her room, where she introduced him to bunny. On the way, she declared that he was, “So cool!”

So yeah, Darah was pretty smitten with her little monster! I’ve encouraged Darah to give Winston a sniff when she is feeling a little bit scared (he is infused with Monster Vapor) and that does seem to help a bit. I would recommend ordering a bottle of the Monster Vapor along with the plush so that you can freshly scent Winston when he is needed.

I really like that Nancy has created a friend to help chase away those scared feelings, and that she has also created blends of something very natural, essential oils, to help children calm down a bit. It’s very hard to be logical, after all, when you can’t calm down! The oils that are included in each product are listed so that you know what’s in there, too.

Buy it!: Bravery in a Bottle products are all available online. The scent-infused plush we reviewed retails for $15.99 and the essential oil sprays are $12.00 each.

Win it!: One of you will win a bottle of Monster Vapor! Woo hoo! [Read more…]