Friends please enjoy this helpful guest post about how to introduce your dog to your baby from children’s book author Wendy Dubrow. It’s full of great tips for moms and dads of fur babies who are expecting a not-so-furry baby!
Many pet parents expecting their first child have concerns surrounding how their first baby, their dog, will adjust to the new family member. We were those people. We read every book and talked to as many people as possible about their experiences welcoming baby. My husband and I each read Cesar Milan’s, A Member of the Family, to help us prepare. Aside from showing your dog as much love as possible, even after baby’s arrival, I highly recommend sending something home for your dog to smell with baby’s scent on it before introducing baby in the flesh. While still at the hospital we had friends bring home a baby hat with our newborn’s scent so our dog, Hudson, could smell it for his initial introduction.
Obviously, there could be a number of factors, but from our experience Hudson and our daughter Kaya had a seamless meeting. From the get go, we treated them both like our children, gave Hudson ample opportunity to smell and kiss Kaya, without smothering of course, and made sure Hudson still slept in our bed, just as he always had despite the new addition of Kaya in the mix. Of course there were nights filled with crying when Hudson opted to sleep elsewhere for peace and quiet. I didn’t blame him. I secretly wished I could sneak out too. Furthermore, Kaya was never off limits to Hudson and we made sure that the love for each of them never waned. In fact, our daughter, now 21 months, loves Hudson so much for two primary reasons. First, he has always showered her with love and second because she witnessed our love, or call it obsession, for him. In case it isn’t obvious I am a dog-loving mama who has made sure both my babies, our dog and our daughter, feel treasured.
I have so much energy swarming around these two that the arrival of our daughter actually led to the inception of my recently published children’s book: Hudson’s Tales, The Adventures of Puppy Brother, Meet Hudson! It is the story of an adored family dog (Hudson). Hudson leads a very charmed life and is the center of attention in his family. Like many families, they grow over time and everyone needs to adjust to new dynamics. This book shares the arrival of a baby, which brings Hudson to his new role in life…puppy brother! It is love at first sniff and Hudson fills with excitement at the thought of sharing future escapades with his new baby sister! This book is a must have for any expecting pet parents or dog lovers with young kids.
From my experience there are two camps of expecting pet parents; those who treat having a dog like a test run for parenting and those who treat having a dog like their first baby. The latter of the two perpetuates the cycle of dog lovers. Our children learn from the examples we set as we care for our dogs as appreciated members of the family. It is no coincidence that Kaya’s first and most frequent word is “Hudson”! In addition to being siblings, they truly are best friends. Of course every dog is different but I am a firm believer that parents set the tone for how pets fit into the family dynamic. Hudson has been the best puppy brother to Kaya. Kaya’s life and personality is all the richer for having him.
Wendy Dubrow has a Masters Degree in Childhood Education and Special Education from New York University. She currently teaches social skills for students on the spectrum part-time while enjoying her children and mamahood! Please visit hudsonstales.com to learn more about the book, Hudson and Wendy! Hudson’s Tales, The Adventures of Puppy Brother is available on Amazon.
I’m happy to read a positive story. (Not that I’ve read any negatives of this.). I have to resist sending this to certain family members. Recently the question of how we intend to handle dog, cat, and baby came up in a less than tactful and downright critical manner. Suffice it to say I handled myself with poise, politeness, and facts but they had formed their opinion and have since been downright rude about making comments about our animals.
Our family members have always been critical of our pets anyway but this was ridiculous. When we decided to get a dog, we researched breeds and talked with breeders and others dog owners with the specific knowledge that we would have kids one day. We settled on a Newf/Berner mix. He is the friendliest most loving dog I’ve ever met. He thinks EVERYBODY is his friend and isn’t bothered by most things that might stress out other dogs (save thunder and fireworks). His biggest problems include jumping (which we’ve taught him to redirect that excitement to his bone), thinking all food is his food (he’s a piggy), and tennis balls (we’ve had surgery 3 times. Each is a long story, but they all had one problem in common…he wasn’t being supervised. I should mention that they all happened out of our care too.).
When we found out that we were going to have a baby, we did lots of research into how to introduce pets to baby. We’ve read articles and articles by people that have done it and professional trainers. When a new baby item arrives, the critters get to sniff and explore it. When they don’t play with it or try to eat it, they’re rewarded. As for big items (stroller, etc), we let them sit out from time to time so the animals get used to them being around. The only things we haven’t done are “played house” with a doll and played sounds but as soon as we get the nursery finished we will be starting those. However, my Aunt’s response was something to the affect of “it doesn’t matter how much prep you can do…the dog will still bite.” (It COULD still get aggressive, I know this, but with that logic I might get hit by a bus on a walk.)
The other infuriating thing was when I was then explaining how Dougal (our dog) already had lots of exposure to babies with my friend’s little girl. When their day care provider left them in a lurch, I became her nanny. They are the owners of a golden-doodle and a daschund mix the prior benign Dougal’s bestie. So when I went every day, Dougal came too. It was wonderful. The first thing she did (she was about 5-6 mos) was yank his nostril. He lifted his head from where it was laying, put it down a ways away, and went right back to sleep. Another day, she spent a good ten minutes crawling back and forth over his head. He didn’t care one bit. He wasn’t even white-eyed. When finally he did have enough, he got up and moved to the other side of the room. He never walked over her (which Appa did plenty of) and he was always aware of her. If I didn’t respond to her crying quick enough, he would look at me and huff. If anything, he was a mother hen about her. But try relating evidence to people who have made up their minds.
I guess at this point I’m venting a little. It’s been very stressful, though, and I’ve enough to stress about as it is. Overall, I want to say thank you for the positive glimpse and wonderful read!
So wonderful to hear your story, and in short, welcome to parenthood! You will find yourself faced with folks who disagree with you about all sorts of choices you make, even down to seemingly insignificant thing (I once had a lady who didn’t know me at all give me a stern talking to for letting my child eat tofu!). Trust your own instincts as best as you can, take the advice that seems helpful and leave the rest behind. You got this! Dougal is going to be a great big brother and you are going to be a great mom! 🙂
Interesting read. When I was pregnant with my first child, Sara I used a book called Tell Your Dog You’re Pregnant: An essential guide for dog owners who are expecting a baby. It was really helpful and came with a baby sounds and toy noises. Max (my fur child!) took some time to get used to the sounds but the book helped on how to do it. It gave me advice on what changes will occur and how to prepare my Max for them. It also talked about the causes for aggression and why it might occur and how to avoid it. It is written by a vet behaviorist too so it cover health issues as well – mayb that will help someone else!