This post on returning to work after maternity leave was originally posted in late October 2009. My how my life has changed since that point! I discovered that I DIDN’T like being away from my baby so much, and was a stay-at-home mom 2 weeks after she turned 1. And then I discovered that the stay-at-home mom gig was the hardest thing on earth (shout out to all the at-home parents out there!) and that I needed to carve a new path for myself. As we celebrate our second daughter’s first birthday today, I can’t help but wonder what my life will look like in another few years!
Isn’t she a cutie? How could I ever leave her? I simply had to, unfortunately. Yesterday was day 1 back at work after 12 wonderful weeks of maternity leave. I honestly missed my job while I was away,but I assumed that my first day back would be entirely miserable.
It actually wasn’t.
Yesterday was a novel experience. I was getting to do something that I had not done in almost 3 whole months. I got to fix my hair, put on makeup, and dress up a bit. I got to be an expert in something not related to infants. It was actually a little bit fun! I suspect, however, that the novelty will wear off after a few days. My prediction is that I’m going to have my hardest day about a week from now, when it starts to sink in that I have to do this 4 out of 7 days each week for as far into the future as I can see (I have a 4 day work week).
One thing parents need are family and friends to offer support. We don’t have any family anywhere close to us, geographically, unfortunately. Fortunately, though, I have a mother-in-law in California who will go to great lengths to help us out whenever she can. She flew in late last night and will be here to help out with Darah for about 3 weeks (Darah has to be 4 months old before she can go to her daycare). I am so grateful for that, and knowing that my little one is getting some quality time with her Grammy really makes me happy.
Since I’m pretty sure that my overall positive emotions about this experience are not permanent, I’d love to hear from other working moms out there. If you went back to work after the birth of a child, how did you handle the transition? Any tips for those of us going back to work after having a baby for the first time?
You definitely family and friend support. I had an aunt that babysat my son for the first 6 months after I went back to work and that helped me out so much knowing that he was taken care of and being well loved. I also called and checked on him during the day and she didn’t mind 🙂 I did miss him, but it made coming home to him all the more sweeter!
You are totally right about needing family and friends for support. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without them!
With my 1st, I was able to stay home for 15mos and went back to work. It as difficult at first, because I missed her BUT I loved having some time away. However, my biggest thing I had to adjust to was my daughter getting so dirty. After 3yrs, I've learned to deal with it. With my 2nd, I was able to work from home, but still didn't see them as much because while I was there making sure they were okay, I was working ALOT. You'll find your groove and everything will be okay! I love working, but miss the kids. I loved staying at home, but missed having me time away. With working we are able to start paying off credit cards and take vacations.
She's adorable!!! Love the little hoodie. I went back to work only part time recently and I really enjoyed it also! I like feeling like I'm contributing to the family and having something that is "mine". I feel a sense of accomplishment when I'm able to be creative in my work environment.
She is a beautiful little girl! I am glad you had a good first day back at work. I work part time and I agree it is hard. I guess maybe it just makes you appreciate all the time you do spend with her just a little bit more. Good luck!
Glad your 1st day back went well! She's too cute!
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
and she IS very cute!
Hey, thanks for coming over to my blog (though you've got me as to how you found it:)
I went back to work when Pink was 10 weeks old. I went to Starbucks that day and bought her a little teddy bear with the year on it to commemorate the day and drown my sorrows in a mocha. It was rough. And it didn't get tons better right away, but it did get better. I loved my job and still do, but I hated that I had to work when she was so young. I'd always hoped to take a few years off.
So what I learned was that you have to be easy on yourself. If you have a great day at work and feel fulfilled, enjoy it and don't feel guilty! If you have a sad day and miss your baby, set aside the dirty laundry, wear the jeans just one more day, and snuggle all evening/night. If you roll with the ups and downs of newborn daycare, you'll get by much more easily than if you expect every day to be the same or for there to be continual positive progress.
Also, go with your gut. I let other people influence me way too much on parenting styles, especially when what they said aligned with my pre-baby philosophy. My gut told me how to parent my girl, and once I learned to listen to it and enforce my own style with the people who cared for her, things went much better and I was much less stressed.
Finally, remember that this will all pass.
It's true, mom knows best. Happy parenting and working!
BTW, Pink is three today, and she's incredibly well-adjusted & thriving. Her daycare provider played a huge role in that, and we're eternally thankful to that wonderful woman.
I actually didn't mind coming back to work. My first son was REALLY high maintenance. So "work" was a nice break for me.
I did miss him – obviously – but being able to enjoy a coffee in piece, go to the bathroom whenever I wanted, and have lunch with a friend were guilty pleasures I actually enjoyed.
And knowing that I was bringing in extra income that would allow my family some "extras" (i.e. vacations) that we wouldn't otherwise be able to have, was also a plus.
You just gotta look at the positive side of every situation.