When I was a college student, one of my mentors said to me, “You are a leader of tomorrow, only if you wait. Don’t wait.”
It was such a simple statement but it just about knocked me over on the spot. For all of my life up to that point I had been told (countless times) about how I (and the rest of my peers) were the future, that we were tomorrow, that we were going to be superstars later. It was always praise for who we would be at some unidentified point later in time, and because of that well-intended but rather misguided praise, I never felt the need to flex my leadership muscles too much, since it was obviously a task for later.
Thank goodness for the person who helped me realize that the waiting (or the not waiting) was entirely up to me. His words have never left me, and I think of them often as I’m raising two little humans who can be great global citizens with the right training and support, starting at home, and starting right now.
From as early on as possible, give your child the opportunity to have some degree of choice and to own the choices s/he makes. The choices should be things that the parent is ok with either way. In my home that might be the choice between 2 different outfits for the day or the choice between bed time stories to read, as examples. Kids need practice being in control of situations and practice making decisions. By providing these opportunities you are increasing confidence and independence.
2. Give Your Child the Opportunity to Challenge Him/Herself
My oldest child is in the first grade, and her class recently had the option to give presentations on a certain topic of interest. The presentation included research, creating a tri-board with information learned, and teaching what they learned to the class through an oral presentation. I thought about letting my child skip it, because that sounds like challenging work for a 6-year-old! But then I realized the leadership growth opportunity and let her go for it. I held back and let her put together the presentation her way and not my way, and I helped her practice sharing what she learned using her words, and not my own. It was a challenge for me to not take over, but Darah learned so much more this way and was immensely proud of what she accomplished because SHE did it, and not me.
Darah giving her first presentation (blurry photo courtesy of mama being nervous for her!)
3. Foster a Love of Reading
Reading is such a powerful tool for the developing leader. The more you read, the more you are exposed to opportunities to think critically, to problem solve and to empathize. Darah recently set her own reading goal to get through 100 books on her own with a cookie cake as a sweet reward at the end. This, by the way, is another example of where I probably wouldn’t have made the total quite so high for that treat, so I’m glad I didn’t try to take charge of this idea! She is halfway to her goal and I have seen her vocabulary improve, her critical thinking skills sharpern, her confidence soar, and her love of reading grow day by day.
4. Teach Good Sportsmanship
We love to play board games as a family, and one rule we have that it so important is that we all congratulate the winner of the game. The winner, in turn, shakes everyone’s hand and says “Good game!” This keeps pouting and gloating to a minimum while still acknowledging the victor and the effort of all other players. I think this is a hugely important life skill and I hope we are setting a solid foundation for our kids to be good team players, gracious winners and gracious losers, as well.
5. Encourage Fundraising for a Cause
One of the most impactful things Darah did this year was learn about the American Heart Association and their Jump Rope for Heart campaign. She came home absolutely on fire about it and eager to contribute to the cause. She started with her own piggy bank and was disappointed to only find $5 there. So I presented the idea of fundraising to her and she decided that she wanted to put the work in to ask friends and family to contribute, and she wanted to put the physical work in to be ready to jump rope for 5 minutes straight as part of the fundraiser. She created a video about what she was doing and how others could help and within 24 hours had surpassed her goal of raising $100. It was a HUGE lesson to her on the power of a lot of people gathering together and each giving a little bit. And she felt thrilled to be able to donate so much money thanks to her willingness to get the word out and ask for help from others. I know she won’t be afraid to volunteer to help out the next time she hears of a cause that could use some fundraising help.
6. Let Your Child Set Ambitious Goals
In the fundraising example above, I was a little surprised that Darah wanted to go for $100. If she had asked me how much she should raise, I would have played it a bit safer and said $50. I’m so glad she didn’t ask my opinion before voicing her own, first! It was a good lesson to me to let kids try to set their own goals. They may reach higher than you would have guessed and meet that goal with their hard work.
7. Let Your Child Fail
Failure is something every human is going to experience, and the sooner, the better, so that you can learn how to benefit and grow from your failures, and so that you can learn not to fear them. If your child is raising money, for example, and sets a goal of $500 but only raises $200, they still raised quite a bit which is awesome and worthy of celebration, and there is an opportunity to go back and think about what they might want to do differently next time. The only true failures in life are the ones where nothing was learned.
4-H is an organization that believes we as adults have an important role to play in growing leaders. On April 4th this great organization launced the “Grow True Leaders” campaign in an effort to increase the number of American youth that are prepared to step into leaderhip roles. Every single child has the potential to be a leader, but that potential needs to be cultivated with experiences and life skills development. 4-H aims to do that through their programs, and they also aim to do it through encouraging parents and others to recognize the youth leaders in their communities.
Can you think of a young person who is already developing their leadership skills? Go ahead and encourage them more by giving them a shout out on social media with the hashtag #TrueLeaders. What a boost it will be to that child’s self-esteem to see that word of encouragement!
Additionally, you can pledge your support of this great campaign by signing up for the ThunderClap that will be happening on social media in May. Signing up is free, takes mere seconds and is a fantastic way to help spread the word about the imortance of encouraging our young ones to go ahead and be a leader today. No need to wait for tomorrow!
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of 4-H. The opinions and text are all mine.